Day 2: Mega Fail

157 Dinner last night was popcorn, lots of carby goodness. Survived yesterday with no wheat and just dark chocolate for sugar. We'll see how today unfolds... So, inertia hit me this morning. That happens every once in awhile, inertia mixed with big sadness. This afternoon I decided to sort through the stuff that I had brought over to our house from dad's house. Took awhile, but I got a lot done. In-between working, I got hungry and thirsty. Bad hungry, and I decided to blow it and grab a coke and cheetos. And dinner tonight? Pizza and another coke. So, sugar grabbed me today and I allowed it. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Miss you, Russ!

Day 1

157.5 Starting the morning with a cup of tea with heavy cream and butter. My tastebuds want sugar. I am not going to give it to them. Well, I did give them a little bit of sugar. Dark chocolate. Not so bad, I don't think. Miss you, Russ.

Time for a Change

I've been eating all things bad since Russ died. Back eating wheat, even though I know how wrong it is for me. I've stuffed spoonfuls if ice cream in me, sucked down gallons of coke, and pretty much just have had a bad food field day for four months. It is time to stop. Tomorrow is (hopefully) the beginning of a 30 day no sugar challenge. I'm even going to try not adding sugar and Coffeemate to my morning tea. Wheat? Gotta stop that, too. It's too danged inflammatory. Wish me luck. Wish me strength. Miss you, Russ.

Photo of Bill, me, and dad at Russ' and my house on Memorial Day, 2016.

Still...

Still find myself wanting to talk to you. My days this week are busy and I am getting through pretty well. Night time comes and once my mind settles, I ache for the loss of you. Morning comes and the first thing I think of is you. My head still shakes at the weirdness of you not being here. How is it possible that you are no longer here with me? I miss you, Russell. I love you forever.