Three

Well, Mr. Russell Huff, it is three months today that you took your last Earthly scooter ride. How do I do this life without you? How am I still standing and getting through each day? When do I stop being flummoxed by the sudden loss of you? I have to think of you and believe that your faith in Christ allowed you to instantly enter into the Intermediate Heaven, where you are blessed beyond measure. You are in a good place. You are loved there. And you are loved here. I miss you so much, but am comforted by all the time and adventures we had together. You are my heart. You are my soul. Forever.

Bit of a Dream

So last night I dreamt that you had bought a HUGE bag of dog food for our Poco. Trouble was, I had already spent a good amount on a huge bag of Blue Buffalo. You told me that you wished I had told you I was buying that because it was pretty expensive. Yep, that is something you definitely would have said. I believe my reply was that I was going to buy it for Poco even if it was expensive. Nice to have you in my dream last night, Russell.

My Heart Without You

So, here's what it feels like: Imagine a 300 pound gorilla with nails as long as windshield wipers ripping open your chest and laying your heart bare. The gorilla hands grab the life out of it, and twist it every which way and more. Then it is pulled out of your chest, thrown against a glass wall, and splintered into a million sharp shards. The shards are picked up and squeezed together to form a semblance of your previously whole heart. Sharp edges remain, it stays twisted, and barely fits into the empty chest cavity. It beats raggedly but still provides a healing life force. It will never be the same, and that is as it should be, because your heart has lost its soulmate.